Sexiest in Runeterra

Posted: July 25, 2011 by xenocidebrm in Champions

Greetings, gentlemen–connoisseurs of the finer (but definitely not superior) gender. In this special collaborative (and hopefully not last…) article, we, the experts, evaluate and look at the most sexy, seductive, sensual, steamy, sizzling, sensational, salubrious, and svelte women of Runeterra. So please, keep it classy (and in your pants): we the writers of No ELO present the first annual (??) Sexiest in Runeterra Pageant.

Atenthirtyone’s Pick – LeBlanc

There are two factors that make LeBlanc perhaps the sexiest Runeterran champion in the League. The first is that she, for the most part, is an antagonist in the League of Legends storyline. There’s no mistake that she is ruthless and lusts… for power. She is a “bad girl” but unlike the other bad girls of Runeterra. There are other Noxian female champions (sisters Cassiopeia and Katarina) but neither show anything deeper than being eye candy. Cassiopeia is shallow and vain, while Katarina is stubborn and a brute. On the other hand, LeBlanc displays elegance, class, and character.

Secondly, LeBlanc isn’t just a classy femme fatale, but also a mysterious woman of unknown goals and desires. It is perhaps what we do not truly know and understand that compels us want to know more. LeBlanc symbolizes the desire to find out about something we like, but still retain that aura of mystery. Overall, LeBlanc is not only incredibly physically attractive (see her Prestigious Skin), but also has depth and mystery.

Qqwerthy’s Pick -Nidalee

Nidalee is clearly the most fit and athletic female champion around. Have you seen her at a track and field meet during the javelin toss? Not to mention she goes on long jogs through the woods daily. But the best thing about her is she isn’t all muscle. She has a mind for the future and wants to go green. She is all about saving the jungle, so you know she is liberal and a bit of a hipster, which is pretty sexy.

Nidalee carries herself with a feline grace that exudes an aura of dominance. But you can tell there is more to her than just her wild side. She is refined and civilized. Whether it be dining with Egyptian royalty or prancing around French mansions, she is an elegant, cultured woman.

Who am I kidding, this is the real reason:

TheWoeBringer’s Pick – Leona

Leona is the obvious pick for sexiest Runeterran. First off she has proportions that allow her to physically exist in this world–which is already better than 99 percent of champions (but that’s just semantics). She’s also wicked hot. How hot you ask? Approximately 5505 Degrees Celsius of hot. Now I’m no “temperaturologist” but that’s a lot of hotness. That can come in handy too. Regular tubs become hot tubs, regular pants become hot pants, regular dogs become fucking hot dogs. Delicious. When you go out with her she’ll be positively stunning. Everyone will have to stop and stare for about 1.25 seconds. Finally, with those gorgeous red locks she’ll always be looking radiant.

Leona is my pick for sexiest Runeterran because she’s the hottest thing around.

KingofGob: Poppy

Poppy, How I Love Thee

While she may not be the most beautiful of the Yordles, Poppy proves that true sex appeal lies in a woman’s power.  She’s a diplomat, she’s a warrior, she’s a blacksmith and she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty, if you catch my drift ::wink:: wink::.  She knows exactly how to focus solely on one man and how to make him feel needed (I see her targeting Sona a lot, so I get the feeling that a threesome is possible).  The way she heroically charges to her man to give him a devastating blow makes her a Paragon of Demacia and I for one would love to witness her abilities first hand.

DamnDirtyCat’s Pick – Anivia

Exotic women are always a turn on because of their voice, and in Runeterra she’s as exotic as it gets. As a Cryophoenix, she brings a number of advantages to the field of sexy. First off, she’ll never get old. The ability to resurrect rejuvenates her youth, keeping her voice at an attractively mature age forever. Second, any food she serves is guaranteed to be nice and cold. Imagine her luscious voice calling you over for a cold brewski.  I’m on board with that. Third, her area denial has some pretty steamy applications. You try to leave the bedroom, only to be walled off by Anivia, seductive words lecturing you about the difficulty of laying eggs… she just sends a chill down my spine. Anivia also makes a great ice sculpture decoration at parties when she’s not using her incredibly delightful voice.

Did I mention her sexy voice? It’s hot.

Anonymous Contributor’s Pick – Orianna

First, it needs to be said that Orianna spends all of her time handling balls.  This experience doesn’t necessarily transfer literally, but it had to be said.  They say there’s no accounting for taste; Orianna can not only account for anyone’s taste, she can reprogram herself to cater to it!  Consider also Orianna’s skins – one is a metallic being, suited to those who like their women a little rough around edges; second is her Sewn Chaos skin, available to those who prefer a softer touch; last is Gothic Orianna – and honestly, who doesn’t like an alternative chick?

Orianna is the clockwork lady, programmed to both ravage and protect.

Jisho23’s pick – Ezreal

I’m not sure why everyone chooses these huge breasted bimbos and sluts. Ezreal is a lady with some class and dignity. She doesn’t have to bother showing midriff or cleavage: based upon her figure and curves alone you can tell Ezreal has a rockin’ bod. And short hair? I know that can be a turn off for most people, but the combination of short hair and goggles just shows how practical she is. This is a lady who does not mess around. To boot, Ezreal’s skillcap is among the highest in the game—she’s hard to get, complicated, and ultimately rewarding. It goes without saying that Ezreal is hand’s down, bar none, the sexiest champion to ever grace the Fields of Justice.

  1. qqwerthy says:

    Hmm.. we have 7 authors and 7 selections… WHO IS DAT MYSTERY PICK? =0

  2. kingofgob says:

    Someone on the LoL home base forums suggested Taric. I think I have my champ for next time ;).

  3. zach says:

    No morganas? Sons, I am disappoint.

  4. […] attention to. The worst part would be bringing women back to the room. If I was to, say, invite Anivia into the room, her wall would cause Heimer’s turrets (in the middle of the floor, of course) […]

  5. […] searches as well, which change as each patch comes out.  Our comedy posts tend to be collaborative and speculative about different […]

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