Jarvan Syndrome

Posted: September 27, 2011 by xenocidebrm in Champions, Complaining, Metagame

After a humiliating defeat where I was complaining about OP champs and METAGOLEM, Jisho23 commented that I hated all champions except the three that I play. Instead of trying to explain myself to just him, I figured I’d bring to light a problem that most of the community is rather tired of. I speak, of course, of Jarvan Syndrome.

Yes, Jarvan Syndrome is a terrible disease that afflicts a number of champions every patch, whereby poisonous gameplay mechanics and optimal builds result in these champions becoming hilariously high-powered copies of one another. Jisho says it’s a matter of skill difference; I say it’s a problem with the numbers. I leave it to you, dear readers, to decide for yourselves.

Jarvan IV: Patient Zero. A Tanky DPS Assassin Jungler with percent bonus damage, Jarvan shows the worst symptoms of Jarvan Syndrome. With a low skill floor, high base values on everything, and the ability to do anything, Jarvan simply isn’t fun to play or to play against. His build is the Metagolem: Any combination of Wriggle’s Lantern, Frozen Mallet, Warmog’s Armor, Atma’s Impaler, Trinity Force, Mercury’s Treads, and Ninja Tabi.

Lee Sin: Another Tanky DPS Assassin Jungler, Lee Sin also does percent damage, has a low skill floor, and can do everything. He might even have a step up on Jarvan because he can also detect stealth. Metagolem build standard.

Gangplank: Tanky DPS Assassin Jungler Support Hyper-Carry. Metagolem build standard. Global Ult. Impossible to CC. His only drawback is that you have a chance of killing him early game if he doesn’t crit you. Zero skill floor.

Nasus: Tanky DPS Jungler Hyper-Carry. Metagolem build standard. Can be kited, but will kill you in one hit if you take too long in a game.

Nunu: Tanky DPS Assassin Jungler Support. Metagolem build optional. Horrible model and emotes only add insult to injury. Zero skill floor.

Garen: Tanky DPS Assassin. Metagolem build standard. Zero skill floor.

Master Yi: Tanky DPS Assassin Jungler. Metagolem build optional. Zero skill floor.

Riven: Tanky DPS Assassin Jungler. Metagolem build optional. Low skill floor.

Wukong: Tanky DPS Jungler. Metagolem build standard.

Olaf: Tanky DPS Jungler. Metagolem build standard.

Xin Zhao: Tanky DPS Assassin Jungler. Metagolem build standard. Zero skill floor.

Every Ranged AD Carry: Metagolem build turns these Champions into Tanky DPS Assassin Hyper-Carries. Metagolem build optional, otherwise you go with the same build every AD Carry does: Doran’s Blades, Wriggle’s Lantern, Bloodthirsters, and Phantom Dancers. If I wanted to play a game with just right click and A, I’d play Terran in Starcraft 2.

Comments
  1. qqwerthy says:

    you forgot Irelia šŸ™‚

  2. Badger says:

    Which are the high skill floor champions, then?

    • damndirtycat says:

      Here are a few:

      Blitzcrank: Miss your grab and your character is useless for 20 seconds.

      Katarina: You have to count the enemy stuns in your head; if you go in too soon, you do no damage, too late, and you also do no damage.

      Nidalee: If you can’t hit with spears or learn to hop through walls in cougar form, don’t play Nidalee.

      Kassadin: Wasted your mana? Misplaced a Riftwalk? Congratulations, you just won a free trip back to the spawn pool.

      • Badger says:

        Landing skill shots isn’t a hard thing to do. I play both Nidalee and GP, and don’t think either of them requires more skill than the other. Both are ‘toolboxes” champion, so to speak.

        And how is Katarina’s ult harder to land than, say, Nunu’s?

      • jisho23 says:

        I think the point with kat is that if you do not count cooldowns and if you try and ult in, you will be nearly instantly killed. Nunu has enough bulk that, even if he whiffs an ult, he’s going to be just fine.

        And blitz is more complicated that just hitting a skillshot, DDC. The real difficult part I find with blitz is effectively using his powerfist and the “combo” with the grab.

  3. kingofgob says:

    I’m confused as to how Nunu is labeled an assassin.

    • damndirtycat says:

      Ice Blast (Active): Nunu throws a ball of ice at an enemy unit, dealing magic damage and slowing their movement speed by a percentage and attack speed by 25% for 4 seconds.

      Cooldown: 6 seconds

      Range: 550

      Magic Damage: 85 / 130 / 175 / 225 / 275 (+1.0 per ability power)

      Slow: 20 / 30 / 40 / 50 / 60 %

  4. KingofGob says:

    By that logic Alistar and Mumu are both assassins because they have a big nuke spell. They both impair movement too.

    • damndirtycat says:

      I think you missed the point. It’s spammable CC with exceptional damage, which is all you need to be an assassin. Jarvan, Lee Sin, Gangplank, Nunu, Riven, and Xin Zhao all have this, which are why they are labelled assassins. Garen and Yi are also assassins because of their chase ability, which results in a net slow for enemy champions.

  5. Chanchanomg says:

    I find jar van very fun to play and I don’t build him Tanky dps as the Metagame says right now. To be honest I haven’t found any champion mechanics necessarily hard to work with. Also, jar vans combo is situational, when he tosses a flag move from the flag. His cc isn’t spammable I think early it’s on like a 8 second cool down? (guess) he is also very mana hungry. Most jar van players build as a tank anyways. When doing so I believe his damage is very suboptimal. I hate to sound like a jar van fan boy but I have never realy founde a problem with jar van like I have win nhao (xin zhao) or Tryndamere. The tanky dps metagame is frustrating since I like using glass cannon builds on all my champs. The most tanky thing I get on jar van. Is typically a trinity force. All in all I see what your saying. Riots making cookie cutter champs. Oh and spry or all the misspellings/bad grammar (my iPad thinks it can spell better than me) šŸ˜‰

  6. […] Atma’s Implier – Yes, the misspelling is intended and it sums up my feelings about this item. Alone, it’s a perfectly fine item, albeit not as cost effective as everyone seems to think it is. The Armor is decent, the Critical Chance is decent, and the Attack Damage is decent, but the cost of this item compared to some of the other Armor, Critical Chance, and Attack Damage items alone is too high. The only way to make this item truly effective is to build Warmog’s Armor and/or Frozen Mallet, leading to Jarvan Syndrome. […]

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  8. Johnc510 says:

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  9. Kinchou says:

    2011 posts about nerfing irelia without irony and atma mentioned with jarvan’s OPness… Holy shit šŸ˜€ Oh boy, were you guys ahead of 2016 riot games!

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